Jesus instructed in Luke 14:26, “Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple.”
Trying to reconcile this statement with the nature and character of the same Lord who extends unconditional and abundant grace, forgiveness and mercy should be problematic for most Christians. What? Jesus wants us to hate our family members, our loved ones, and ourselves?
The good news is that the problem is not routed in any inconsistency having to do with the nature and character of our God but in the understanding of the ancient meaning of the Hebrew word pronounced “soneh.” This is the word in the original text translated in the passage in most Bibles as “hate.” The problem is also routed in our tendency to make Jesus into our own image. We are the ones who hate. God does not hate. God is love.
This same word, “soneh,” is translated as “hated” in Malachi 1:3, “but Esau I have hated.”
According to Dr. Eli Lizorkin-Eyzenberg, president of Israel Bible Center, the correct translation of the ancient Hebrew word “soneh” is closest to “preference” and, as is the case throughout the old testament, needs to be understood in context with the people and times in which the word was spoken.
For instance, God greatly blessed Esau (Gen.33:9) and even warned the Israelites not to attack the sons of Esau or risk the withdrawal of His protection from them (Deut.2:4-6).
“In fact, the Torah narrative is developed in such a way that anyone hearing the story of the stolen blessing and Jacob’s deception of the blind-elderly Isaac would sympathize with Esau instead of Jacob,” writes Dr. Lizorkin-Eysenberg in Israel Bible Weekly. “There is no question that God loved Jacob with His covenantal love (a different kind of love and care than he had for Esau) but He did not ‘hate’ Esau.”
And didn’t Jesus say that one of the two greatest commandments is to love your neighbor as you love yourself? As someone said lately, “You hate yourself? Look out neighbor!”
In our human fumbling around to correctly capture the true essence of God, any current translation of the word “soneh” seems to miss the mark. It is obvious that “hate,” as the word is understood today, is completely wrong but even “preference” is difficult to reconcile to the all-loving character and nature of God.
It is troublesome to say that God has a preference for one over another. After all, Paul made it clear in Galations 3:28, “There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.”
This word “soneh” might be better understood in line of how much we are interested in opening ourselves to God’s ideal order and to what degree are we receptive to and a conduit of God’s love. Esau must have felt less loved by God but looking at the story through the lens of Jesus, we would probably agree that the first born blessing system was what the Israelites had created back then. This is likely rooted in the pagan tradition of sacrificing your firstborn in hopes of earning divine favor, but God had settled that ritual with Abraham and Isaac. That didn’t change the belief however that there is something special about the firstborn that makes “him” superior to any succeeding brothers or sisters. But, in reality, this human-contrived first-born system didn’t and couldn’t diminish God’s love for any one.
Applying the word “soneh” and the translation as “preference,” however, is more accurate in the passage in Malachi 2:16 about our covenantal God “hating” divorce, which is a breaking of covenant. It would seem that our actions can and do have a measure of God’s best, second best, etc. to them.
In this passage, God prefers covenant keeping over covenant breaking. However, divorcing an abusive spouse is quite different than divorcing because someone has fallen in love with someone else. These are both covenant breaking actions but they have different levels of acceptability in both the spiritual (Kingdom) and physical (world). But even in this example of God “hating” something, it is us and our lack of love that is the problem not God’s.
God’s love for His creation is constant and consistent. He can’t love us any greater and He won’t love us less.
For what other reason, than that it would sink in once and for all, does the Holy Spirit inspire a dear 80-something pastor’s widow to frequently recite these words, “God loves us when we’re right and when we’re wrong. He loves us when we’re weak and when we’re strong. He’ll never ever change, He’ll always be the same? Because God is God and He IS LOVE.”
Perhaps what it really comes down to is whether or not we trust God, assume the best about Him and His ways, know that his intentions toward us are always good, and that His “preferences” are about His most excellent plans and purpose and not about His affection for us.
Catholic Apostolic Group 